Splodge

Ah yes, "splodge" the unmistakeable sound of goblin making the mistake of getting too close to an ogre not quite as stupid as he looked at first glance. Yes Blood Bowl is supposed to be the most brutal of sports games and since getting the board game version in around 96/97 one of my favourite of all time. As far as sporting games go there's been nothing for me, subbuteo was fun in doses but ultimately it didn't matter in the long run. Being into strategy games there wasn't a system for long term play and you didn't develop any form of skills other than being a good flicker = victory (though I did grow an attachment to a player with a broken leg in a Villa shirt I called "Steve Froggatt" due to an injury I remembered him picking up). After this there was Totopoly which was a fun little horse racing game. Thing is as far as sporting games went, I'd rather load up Premier Manager than any board games.


So as I began to get into miniature wargaming I came across this one set in the Warhammer world. American football with the added brutality of orcs flattening goblins and assorted other fantasy creatures. Considerably cheaper than going out and spending in excess of £100 to have a reasonable sized "army" it became easier to collect and put together a team. As it now stands I've got all official teams (except Norse, the vikings would be prod buttock, did the minis have any resemblence of the actual team roster) now and took part in two Blood Bowls where the "New Skaven Ratriots" (ratmen) got a Desmond (2-2 w/l record) before "Da Reggae Boyz" (Orcs with some modeling putty dreadlocks in a Jamaican football kit) lost all four.


I did come across a Blood Bowl game for the PC around the time I got first into it. I played it briefly but in the end I was still happier getting the board game out so it ended up in the little second hand game shop in town (sadly, no longer with us) and was forgotten about. As the years progress though I continued to play the board version (the wench is currently undefeated, must stop playing matches with a severe disadvantage against her...) and though my competition days are gone (for now...) my collection still get good game time.


14 years later, after spotting a game called "Chaos League" and spotting the blatant rip-off that it was, I caught the news that the company behind it had received the rights to make the official game. I guess Games Workshop learnt from the past, they accepted a one-off payment for Blizzards game with similarities to the Warhammer universe, next thing you know Blizzard are a huge company and the name Warcraft is bigger than Warhammer, lost them millions. So last year it finally hit the shelves and at the end of the month it's updated to include every team from the board game (bar Chaos Dwarves but they don't exist anymore (not profitable enough))and seems a good time to write it up.


Sound - Like all sports games the commentary can be quite good, with the odd funny one liner but if you play any sport game for more than a couple of hours it does get a more than a little tiresome. Other sound effects are general sporty grunts (and snarls from various creatures) so not fantastic sound but it does create some form of atmosphere though in turn based game play if you're a square short of a touchdown the roar of the crowd goes on forever. Oh the anticipation of a touch down.


Graphics - the image above is from one of the opening sequences (each team has their own sequences which is a nice touch) so not quite in turn with gameplay. In game though it does have a decent look though by modern standards not perfect. It is quite good in that you can instantly recognise the positions of the players and how experienced they are and any mutations and the models do look similar to their miniature counterparts. Graphically it could probably be better but it works and is supposed to be about gameplay right?


Gameplay - It keeps the rules as of the "living rule book version 5" (updated to 6 in Legendary) so as far as the game goes, what works on the board game should work in the game. Sadly a couple of rules are bugged which makes things incredibly difficult to plan ahead, skills dedicated to fouling like Dirty Player or Sneaky Git don't quite work properly which means the goblin method of "counter-splodging" is made harder to implement. A cheaper version of the board game with a couple of rules that don't work right (judging from the 117 page topic on the "Claw mutation ruins games due to being overpowered" that's in the game already! Aims are simple, two halves of 8 turns to try and score more touchdowns than the other team.


Longevity - No two matches against the same team are ever the same anyway and you can always lose that match you should win due to bad dice rolling, you need the skill to make yourself less reliant on dice but every now and then you can't avoid seeing your players laid low as little buggers nip in to beat you 1-0. Add to this the campaign mode which allows you to create your own team from beginning to top and developing skills to (hopefully) make the top and win the Blood Bowl championship itself. With 9 teams (human, orcs, dwarves, lizardmen, skaven (Ratmen), goblins, Chaos (daemonic beasts) and wood or dark elves) you have 9 teams if running to a formula lineup but by tailoring your teams can have much more, not to mention that as skill rolls are random you're never certain to have exactly the same team. Adding in the other 11 teams from the end of October and you should have plenty of replayability.


Overall, I'm probably going to get a lot more out of it than the normal player due to enjoying the board game for so long. If you want a sports game with a bit more depth than FIFA or Madden but don't want the full depth of a purely management title it'll probably go down well with you. It was on the 360, but lost some of the online play meaning online tournaments and the like weren't available and legendary edition isn't going to be released on there for the time being. If you have a PC though give it a go, although for me it's near perfect probably worth a 7/10 for an outsider. Of course, now you've at least got the advantage of demos!

Shambolic Sport

Thought I'd give this a Horrible Historyesque name today and write up. Reason for not writing for a while being that aside from being busy (4 interviews in a week!) when I've had the computer access I've been watching the commonwealth games and trying to figure out why Liverpool fans are so excited about a potential change in ownership which won't actually benefit them too much.

Thing that has me confused about Liverpool is, for starters, how the deal can go through if the owners don't want it to happen. A normal person can go bankrupt, default on their mortgage and have their house taken off them, however an estate agent can't decide to sell their house behind their backs. Not sure why sports different. Then of course you get the fans who're excited and whooping with joy, when it's their own fault. Where we these people when they were second in the table a year ago? Oh they didn't care because they had Stevie G and 'Nando Torres and were sucessful. Can't have it both ways lads (unless finances can be bi...), do you want to spend the money on glory? Or are you prepared to plod around and hope you can get lucky like Spurs or Villa who despite winning multiple European titles (including THE title for Villa) had to settle with years of midtableness just to come close due to frugal management. Even Arsenals' profits don't pay off all debts they gambled on with the new stadium and Wenger is abused due to it.


From here we move back to Delhi where the games' are rife with poor attendences and sickness. Golly gee! I again am shocked. Like the football world cup they've headed out to a country with next to no sporting heritage (a total of 20 medals in 110 years at the olympics), however, unlike the football world cup nobody cares enough to invest the money required to travel out for the Commonwealth games, so you're largely reliant on the locals embracing them. As for the sickness, is it a surprise? Delhi Belly has been a problem with the city for years so anywhere when you have hundreds of people in one place for a fortnight is always likely to affect some of them.


In search for entertainment I've found myself watching some sports which normally aren't on my radar and two of which have really annoyed me. First of which is netball. I watch this game and I honestly can't work out how the game has picked up for so long. While basketball is not my cup of tea I can see the appeal, however the most positive aspect of it is removed when converting to netball in that you lose most of the speed. I just can't see the appeal of watching people move the ball forward, then standing still for what feels like forever and throwing a ball into a hoop, mostly unopposed. Can't believe I could dislike a sport with leggy women running around in skimpy skirts. The other major annoyance is archery. Actually saw someone in a medal final who didn't even need to pull back on the bowstring and just had to hold a widget that did it for her. So not only do they make it easier to aim but you don't even need to pull on the bowstring? Henry V must be spinning in his grave. I'm not going to comment on the poor quality of female goalkeepers in hockey, it's people like that which make female sportspeople look bad, been some great attacking play though around the blunders!


Next up, more sport. Only this one involves harder tackles and more ogres, elves and orcs (OH MY!)

Distant losses

A short and sombre piece today due to time restraints. I've been inspired to write this one today by my wee brother and how he was hit yesterday morning by sad news. He woke up and logged on to his laptop to see the news that his friend Ethan had passed away after taking his own life.


Little Lanky has, as you could guess been pretty damn inconsolable since. One of the things about their friendship is that they've never actually met in person. What they have done though is spent the last 6 years talking on a daily occurance about all manner of things, helping eachother through GCSE's and always being there for eachother whenever one needed the other. In the modern era it's become much easier to meet people of a similar mind and forge those tight friendships. Friendships which often last much longer and seem more sturdy than those forged face-to-face at school.


A few months ago I too had lost a friend, the awesomely named Scott McFly, while me and Scott hadn't had as much conversations nor stayed as close as Daniel and Ethan had been when he passed away (due to my own lack of logging into MSN just for a quick catchup, something I've still not learnt from) it still hits hard. Often, just as hard as when a "real life" friend goes, others it'll hit far worse as you become close companions to all manner of wierd and wonderful people.


I've not really got much more to say, the subject matter in itself says more than any literary ramblings possibly could. Always remember and try to go that little extra for friends no matter where they be from, we can never be sure of anything in this world and sometimes, that loss of the friend from San Antonio, Chile, Ooop North or even just down the road but hard to get to can build just as big a hole as the loss of a family member. RIP good friends, near or far.