Game. Set. Match. Mr Thunderhead

Courtesy of Shinobi from the Retro Gamer forums I've decided today I'm going to head back to gaming for a while and a look at Sega Superstars Tennis. This to me was partly a game released 10 years too late. Growing up in primary school the big debate was always Sega Vs Nintendo a war which ultimately with the arrival of a third party Sony led to a resounding defeat for Sega withdrawing them from hardware and only focussing on software. Nintendo for their sins had became experts at prostituting their intellectual properties and while Sega made good games right up to the Dreamcast era Nintendo essentially could rely on sales of self developed franchises like Zelda and Mario, the latter of which starred in spin-off games of a variety of types, most successful being the Mario Kart series (many a gap between scenes has been killed playing wirelessly on the DS version to this day!) although the little plumber has also enjoyed stints on the golf course, football pitch, medical profession and tennis court.

Sega have finally caught on and now unleashed the Superstars series first with a substandard mocap game using the eyetoy for PS2. Released now with the rise of these kind of mini-game fests maybe it would've been a bigger success. This was the follow up taking Sega superstars onto the tennis court. As a game it does exactly what you would expect from it. Lots of cartoony graphics played out in game themed locales for a quick game of tennis - on default settings a match can be over in under a minute - with a selection of mini-games for longevity.

As far as playing it goes, the control system was over elaborate. Move by using the left stick with X for a standard shot, and [] for a slice. However lobs and dropshots are played by using a quick combo of the two others leaving the two other buttons unused while your superstars special ability unlocked with the top shoulder buttons. I can't work out why it was done this way, I suspect it was essentially laziness in programming a slightly different control scheme compared to the Wii version over the other consoles. It's not a major problem and I'm sure you could change the controller settings if you wanted, it's just a strange design choice.

Being tennis though it's straight forward to play with you hitting it back and forth against an opponent until one of you misses it for a point, yadayadayada. Also included are mini games though, my favourite of which based on House of the Dead (named Curiens mansion due to a ban in Germany!) involving knocking waves of zombies unconscious with tennis balls, it might sound childish but hitting them in the midsection and hearing a groan is good for a giggle akin to hitting bystanders on a Tiger Woods game and watching them hop in frustration. The mini-games add to longevity alongside Superstars mode which combines standard matches and mini-games into unlock various other stages and courts. Though like a lot of sport games, its best played multiplayer, it keeps her indoors quiet as Amy the Hedgehog from Sonic smashes a serve straight past the awesome Gilius Thunderhead from Golden Axe.

Thing is, I think Sega in typical fashion missed a current generation trick. Downloadable content. Out of the box there are 16 characters on 10 courts yet these don't really mix too well, for example you have Alex Kidd and the almighty Gilius (notice who my fave character would be...) as playable players but no court for them and courts for House of the Dead or Outrun but no characters to play on them, while Sonic is typically represented by two courts and 5 characters. In my view a DLC pack of a doubles team (e.g. Ax Battler and Tyris Flare from Golden Axe) with a court (and associated music) tied in wouldn't be a bad idea (price dependent) and since their are so many franchises untouched they could have a supply that depending on content prices would keep a steady group of fans content and add longevity. I challenge thee to find someone who could resist the chance to smash tennis balls at Toejam and Earl?

Ultimately it's a solid game and worth around 7/10. Playing on your own you won't get masses of playtime but with mates round it'll be a nice little game to play alongside drunken FIFA battles. Shame there were some missed opportunities with regards to adding a little more for fans. That said I'd have loved more DLC for Ultimate Mega Drive Collection too, more modern retro goodness please!

Confused.com? I am now!

Why are all adverts so criminally piss poor? I once heard someone say that "the worse an advert the more memorable it becomes" now judging by the continuing use of that fat git from the Go Compare adverts I don't think I need Adam and Jamie to say "Myth Confirmed" for this matter. Far more irritating though is when an advert becomes so bad that you can't actually remember what it's advertising.

Some of the offenders, the aforementioned Go Compare and Comparethemarket.com (granted I still have a soft spot for Alexander the meerkat, probably due to the voice actor being the legendary Michael from I'm Alan Partridge - and a meerkat) are at least obvious what they are advertising. It's still got the nuisance value but they at least sit there and make it obvious. Far worse though are sitting through adverts which don't actually seem to be that good at what they're doing.

Now let's look at the latest Confused.com advert shall we? We have some bint singing how she needs somebody to love and two random people from loads who join together and talking about two million people... When the blue Hell did they turn into a dating website? When they first started advertising it was obvious, show hopeless elderly person being shown how to use the internet and how easy the web site is. So why on Earth did they go with some cryptic thing which leads to any confusion. Rule number 1 of performance and PR, always assume that people have no idea who/what you are. Incidentally the blonde must have severe back trouble with bristols like that!

For a long time there have been a whole host of adverts along this line, generally they fit into three categories. Car adverts, men's deodorant (clearly we can't handle the scientific and hilariously small focus groups used for women's stuff!) and alcoholic beverages are the ones worst for this. Please, if you're going to wind us up at least could you do us the pleasure of making it obvious what you're trying to sell us!

Fantasy Football

Now the FA Cup is an occasion - next best to Christmas Day, when every team that's in the country get their chance to plaaaay. Apologies for quoting Chas and Dave ('91's epic song "We're off to Wembley (because we beat the Arse nal)") but we're at that time of year when we see something in sport that's almost entirely unique. As I sit at my desk I've spotted League 1 Notts County take the lead against big boys Sunderland. Championship side Cardiff are winning at top flight Stoke and fallen giants Leeds have just been unfortunate with a 90th minute penalty going in against the aforementioned Arse leading to a 1-1 draw at one of the toughest grounds to win at.

FA Cup 3rd round day is one chance when surprises can and do happen and one of few occasions when the little boys have a chance of glory against the big boys, some times it goes further. 13 years ago this weekend was the 4th round tie and one of my favourite memories of growing up, non-league Stevenage Borough 1 - 1 Newcastle United with Stevenage having a goal disallowed due to a tight offside call. Newcastle managed to win a replay 2-1 up in t' North courtesy of a goal which only the referee thought crossed the line, an incident for which I was suspended from school due to everyone wanting to discuss it with me in class the next morning.

Chances are the big boys will win, but as William Wallace/Mel Gibson once said about wanting "one chance, JUST ONE CHANCE!" and the pep talk in "Little Giants" where the losers remember the one time they got one over on more successful siblings to inspire them to that win it's that potential which makes it exciting. Personally, that Stevenage side were one of our weakest in recent years, but still I remember the likes of Des Gallagher, Michael Love, Robin Trott, Mark "Smudger" Smith, Ryan Kirby, Giuliano Grazioli (I once did a presentation claiming him the greatest Roman of all time in History despite being a Londoner), Neil "Sarge" Trebble or Gary Crawshaw as greats (no idea why I never remember the midfield) and with the hype for the rematch tonight on ESPN showing clips from Grazi's goal in front of the tense Geordies I still feel a bit teary eyed in the way that only sport seems to make grown men quiver. I just wish it hadn't been so long ago, would love to relive the memories on those tense ties on DVD, our VHS collection long gone, something which no sport really allows.

Growing up with rugby union, certainly in the amateur days I have fond memories of the "Pilkington Cup" which was close. Granted football has got many more professional teams but the Pilk used to do similar. I still remember the disbelief when my beloved London Wasps managed to lose to the Birmingham Pertemps Bees in a huge shock (though Wasps losing to Bees gave my mates some giggles I didn't share) and the joy when home town Huntingdon managed to qualify for the first round of this hallowed competition (as a youth player we got to play the big boys occasionally, mainly due to the regional nature. Playing Northampton at Franklin's Gardens for a spot in the Midlands cup final at Twickers being a career highlight) but that's now gone. I suppose with the move to professional status the smaller teams got left behind so much quicker and it just didn't get people's interest in the same way as the FA Cup. Such a shame as like the FA Cup those rare shocks were what appealed to me as a fan of the sport.

Tonight as I get ready to see the big game at Broadhall Way (better start checking I've got the tickets on me!) for vengeance a mere 13 years ago I know there's a chance I'll be feeling a bit dejected as the much better equipped and financially supported Newcastle beat us comfortably (that disallowed goal being our one chance) but I, for one, will be delighted that this opportunity exists. We may be a league side now but it changes nothing as we'll again be huge outsiders. Long may the FA Cup continue and here's hoping for some of those shock results!

Well? It's the big show

Standing at 7 feet 4 inches and weighing in at well over 500 pounds it is... The gaping hole in my calender which inevitably follows a successful run on the stage. That's it, pantomime season has finished for me and after a good run as "sound viking" for a production of Snow White and the scheming, manipulative and award winning role as Mr Boderick Bod (son of Bod) from Beauty and the Beast over with it is that long awaited yet loathed time which any actor hates. Downtime.

A few years ago this was not an issue, In the late teens I was confident enough in myself and the smaller roles I would generally get to take on two or three roles simultaneously but as the ageing process continues and I find myself generally getting the larger roles and forgetting more lines (huzzah for Autocue!) I now tend to only do two a year. I've done my annual light hearted romp with pantomime but between that and my Summer piece Shakespeares "Measure for Measure" (glad he wrote a new play, seems like years since the last one) I have got nothing. So what do actors do during downtime.

Well for one I feel sorry for the West End who're now going to be subjected to the hapless technical styling of the profressionals (not a typo, they call themselves such) who were so bad they were asking 'er indoors for advice. Other than that though, we're left with nothing. As it stands Facebook is agog with statii about how much people are missing the crew and the inevitable post show parties are being planned but the reality is, we fade apart. We'll all work together soon enough and it'll be smiles, hugs and buttock squeezes (when other halves backs be turned) again and as if we've not been apart but until then it's loneliness, quoting not yet forgotten lines and the inevitable what next?

Funny thing is, as an actor you find yourself not actually wanting to do anything! I've sat back to try and get to grips with Football Manager 11 (Huntingdon Town to Premiership glory?), rampaged around the fort on Fallout : New Vegas slaughtering post apocalyptic Roman legionaries and attempted to get my vocal skills up to scratch to take on Bohemian Rhapsody with full harmonies (solo) on Rock Band 3 but the problem is I don't want to do any of that.

Acting at times is like being a war veteran, "you weren't there man, you don't know what it's like!". We go through months of being in each others pockets, during the course of a show the cast are more a part of your family than those you live with, you live and breathe for each other. As a company you get to know everything about everyone and in Stockholm Syndrome fashion you love and care for those who you'd have bugger all to do with normally. Not to say that emotions and friendships aren't real, some of my best friends come through my time on stage, but you're living together and as exhaustion rises you're going through something that outsiders don't quite understand.

I've not really got too much to say today but had to return to blogging as we head into the new year, so this little rambling entry goes to my new brothers and sisters (come to think of it doesn't that make all the hugging and pecks on the cheek turn it into borderline incest?) who've been so key in helping get through the last few months. Some of you I'll never work with or speak to properly again but even still the memories remain...